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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Déjà vu !!!! & other stuffs!!!

Déjà vu!!!! & other stuffs!!


Déjà vu a french word that usually means 'already seen' is a very common feeling for each one of us,  somewhere some events little flashes of similarity occurred in mind, feels like these things happened before. One day I was travelling with my parents, in the way I saw a house from my car window never been there before in my life, but seems like a very known place to be, sometimes I am doing something suddenly it feels like I did the same thing before. This kinda stuff happens to everyone I guess. For me these glimpses  feels like a scene from a dream, now turned into reality, not very frequently Déjà vu happens to me but it is a common feeling for me.

Its funny how a unknown place a new event seems so known, I don't exactly understand the scientific explanation of this feeling. There is so many things so many questions out there, much complicated subject is time perception, does our one decision creates parallel  universes around us with different possibilities of the same choice??  May be in some parallel universe I am having a totally different life made by my totally different choices, really feels so mysterious and funny that why in the world I think stuff like that, may be in some parallel universe I don't think at all, but in that case I don't think of other choices what would any other decision may be there, so no different timezone no parallel world creepy if you think right??????

I don't usually believe in miracles actually never believes in miracles, for me there is always a cause behind a effect or event, it can be unknown for a moment but still there waiting to come around, without reason I don't believe a thing but this is hard everyone thinks I am a little to  hard on everything, for me this nature is a miracle worker how a Caterpillar can turn into a gorgeous butterfly, how a flower can be so beautiful how a beautiful & stunning animal like tiger be so dangerous and so on......everything around me is magic and nature is the greatest magician of all time.



  


                                                        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday, July 30, 2012

Nationalism to Universalism !!!

Nationalism!!!--->> Universalism!!! 

Nationalism, love and united feeling for own country among countrymen, a sweet feeling right? no nothing sweet in it, it represent hatred competitive feeling towards other countries, brotherhood among a single land but dividing the whole world in small portion weak alone. how can this superiority another side of narcissism can be known as sweet or divine?? 

A country like my own, India, here its vary hard to create the feeling of nationalism cause with many different language groups, religious groups, geographically different parts of India always feels different. We can see this hatred among a single country between countrymen everyday in newspapers and TV, this breaks my heart everyday, is it really very hard to think that only religion is being 'human'? or only geographical identity is that we all live in same planet The Blue Planet our Earth, is it so damn hard to talk in the language of love respect and tolerance??? May be it is hard.

When the whole world is struggling by the side effects of brutal nationalism cruel religious fights we Indians are fighting a different war among us, we are fighting for our languages our lands our cast creed clans so stupidly that even my keypad of this laptop is laughing on our tremendous stupidity. We are fighting to divide our country in lands for different groups of people while we should fight for unity of India, we only feel united when we have a cricket match against other countries, that's all then we start again.

Our feeling of nationalism which evolves around a single country is not quite ready yet how we are going to understand the feeling of universalism ? Our great poet Rabindra Nath Tagor believed in universalism but we just read his poems and listen his songs make remakes of his music that's all. Our main problem we start our language journey with me and ends in Mine.Its very stupid of me to write these stuff these words doesn't matter,in reality being realistic means just pretend to be rude cruel cutthroat nothing else, you can feel the brotherhood feeling but only to harm or kill or humiliate others that is it, nothing more.

Nationalism can create tension among two countries but the feeling of local identity is much more dangerous, when we Indians will stand tall and can say we all are Indians and we only think of India then it will be the first step for us towards Universalism, but we have to understand Nationalism first then have to just outgrow it. Because any feeling of superiority only can create killers  nothing else.



Saturday, July 28, 2012

My ‘Socialist’ Joint Family


My ‘Socialist’ Joint Family
Shrutasree Chattopadhyay

This is not an expert’s point of view, but mine. An ordinary student is comparing the most controversial issue with an ordinary joint family. Socialism or Communism, whatever we call it, is still a tricky subject in terms of definition. Various sociologists, historians, scholars and politicians have described it in different ways, or to play safe, in their own way. There are many similarities with much diversity. There are debates about the coming of socialism in society, gradually or through revolution. This is not an area of prediction, but we can speculate on the result of the continuous process of evolution in society through the minds and action of the subject of it, human beings. So when a matter depends particularly on social animals, we can’t just neglect the most complex element of human character, his psychological state or pattern.

A person is bound to act according to his state of mind, and this is the point whence starts all kinds of problems, misunderstandings and storms of arguments and chaos. I just feel that my family had a socialist character which is now disintegrating, and why I think so is the principle theme of this essay. This is not a scientific research, but a parallel discussion of my joint family with much discussed socialism. Like any normal society, my family has classes or people of different positions; some have money and the resultant influence, and others have neither money nor the influence that keeps flowing from it. So I find haves and have-nots in my family. My grandfather was the supreme authority, the eldest and wisest of all, and no one could question his decisions. We all were loyal members of his party since the day we were born; we were his dream and he was our one and only leader. In his domain, everyone was equal of the monetary status.

We had common kitchen where my mother and aunts used to cook for everyone, the same breakfast, same launch and same dinner for each member, with no class tag attached. It was no dream, the equality was there and we saw it for years.

But strangely, equality was given little thought by the rest of the family. As I have said, there was no one to question Grandpa, but I never said that, there was no desire of questioning the system. There were occasional sparks and after some time the odd one sparked a fire.

Grandpa’s eldest son (no name necessary) had the prestigious job of teaching little kids, but earned less than his younger brother who was a successful engineer with a huge salary who made a big contribution to the family. That big contribution ultimately and unconsciously made him more influential than the elder brother who was supposed to be the next in line for supremacy in the family after grandpa. So in this capitalist world, money talks very loudly. There was my father and two uncles, holding different jobs and monetary status. And more money means more power. So my eldest uncle and my youngest uncle, who was a writer (anyone can guess which he belongs to!) were the family proletariats and Mr. Engineer, my father and the other uncle formed the elite and bourgeoisie class.

Equality began to prove as an obstacle for the ‘elite classes’ of the family – Grandpa dictated that all the children of the family must go to the same school, but they could no longer neglect the “good opportunity” for their own offspring. Here’s where psychology or the mind started its work. The same food same lifestyle was no more wanted by the “influential classes” of the family. All grandpas’ big decisions began to be influenced by the so called successful sons; he was getting old and needed support- which is a normal thing for any leader.

 And so, the opinion and suggestions of the ‘have-nots’ had no influence on ‘family’ decisions. At this point I suddenly realized that the balance of my family rested upon economic conditions. Money now decided status, not talent, in my “equal” joint family. Even my eldest uncle took initiatives to get more money by leaving his old job, which once was his dream. But for status and position, reality dispenses with dreams.

First the kitchen ‘separated’, then home, and “joint” gave way to a “nuclear” family. Grandpa, grandma, my uncles and aunts all grew apart, divided. My “socialist equal family” gradually transformed into several capitalist opportunist groups who raced against each other for a better life, unconsciously losing the essence of “being alive”. But there was still my younger uncle, the writer, the proletariat of the family, who didn’t join the race. I asked him once, “Don’t you want to be rich and powerful?” he said if he became rich then other people would normally became poorer, so instead of being equal he would create another class.

He was right; gaining power, money or anything means a loss for someone else. Money is not infinite, it circles around. The rich can became poor by a sudden stroke of misfortune and poor can become incredibly rich by sudden stroke of luck. So if I wanted to get rich someone would have to be poor.

In that way, he and I or anyone else could be creating classes and differences within society. I often thought it was very hard to be a pure socialist; I’d have to be satisfied all the time, couldn’t demand more because in a “dream socialist  society” no one was better, richer or poorer than anyone else. Just like my old home, the same food, lifestyle and status for everyone. So whether my youngest uncle is a pure socialist or just a wise man is totally irrelevant. In a way, he stands out as a common man, because he believes satisfaction brings equality, not gaining more power can solve anything.
So when a “have-nots” make good money they can no longer be called proletariat because they have been transformed into “haves”, while yesterday’s “haves”, without anything, have been reduces to today’s “have-nots”.
Such is the vicious cycle of power and money that no man can avoid it, forget the shield of “satisfaction” – which was missing in my family and I think is still missing in the common human mind. Gradually my socialist family collapsed. But I still have a family, still a hope to install peace in my own house. Because I believe society reflects the way we build our respective families.

(Published in “The Statesman”/ NB extra, dt-Friday/14th may 2010)


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Historiography !!!

         When in college I first saw the word historiography I didn't have slightest idea that it will be so interesting and complex and easy in a way. In simple words Historiography means the evolution the true story of the history itself, history of history writing. History is a very interesting subject but historiography is little bit more fascinating, how throughout the time  different history scholar and historian analyzed different event in the past based on the facts and sources but problem is facts and sources information are same but the way of looking into things is different for every creative mind, we all see sky or ocean but they influence every one of us differently same with historians. Historians are all human beings controlled by their mind beliefs surroundings and other important influences of the society they belong. So objectivity is ompossible in history, we try to be objective but in the matter of practice we all fail to do that. Every mind is somehow being chained by the belief religion social structure and the family values, its very hard to be impartial in that case, so the history according to different minds reflect a different character, thus history of history writing is so complex, but it gets easy when you found the one link to all differences that is the psychological background of a person, mind controls all of us, as long we will not turn into mindless creature psychology will play a very important role in our history, because history is made by people and also written by people.
          The book 'What is History' by E.H Carr was great for basic study and clear understanding of this particular subject the book by R.G Collingwood 'The Idea of History' was also a great help, but to understand different schools of historiography its important to read books on same subject by different historians and scholars only then any student can get the idea of influence of different psychological state in different writings obviously which requires a lot of reading but its fun to see or read different analysis of same events by different scholars, it helps to build my own mindset about a historical event or idea. 





Tuesday, July 24, 2012

সাহিত্য !!!!!




!!!!


সাহিত্য ঠিক কাকে বলা যায় ? কদিন ধরেই ভালো কিছু পড়তে চাইছি কিন্তু পাচ্ছিনা। যে গুলো ভালো লেগেছিল সেগুলো আগেই পড়া হয়ে গেছে আর যেগুলো এখন চোখে পড়ছে তাদের সাহিত্য বলা যাই কিনা এই নিয়ে দ্বন্দে পরেছি । কিছু একটা লিখলাম তারপর সেটা প্রকাশিত হয়ে  গেল সেটিকে কি সাহিত্য বলা যাবে? নাকি যে লেখা পড়ে  মনে অনেক্ষণ ধরে একটা রেশ থেকে যায় যা মনকে ভাবায় সেটিই সাহিত্য? 

এখন প্রশ্ন হলো লেখাকে ভাবনাকে সাহিত্যের রূপ দিতে গেলে সবচেয়ে দরকারি কি? যা জানা আছে তাই লেখা নাকি কল্পনার ঘোড়া  ছুটিয়ে যা প্রাণ চায়  লিখে যাওয়া ! personally আমার পদ্যের চেয়ে গদ্যে আকর্ষণ বেশি তারচেয়েও বেশি ভালো লাগে উপন্যাস পড়তে যমন বঙ্কিম চন্দ্রের 'রাজসিংহ' বা শরদ্বিন্দুর 'কালের মন্দিরা' একবার পড়লে  মনে অনেক্ষণ একটা কি বলা যাই উপন্যাসের সুরটা গুনগুন করে,বড় ভালো লাগে তখন।তবে আজকাল কারো কাছে সময় কথায়? আগে সাহিত্য নিয়ে আলোচনা হত কিছু পড়লে  বন্ধুদের মাঝে চুটিয়ে ওই নিয়ে আলোচনার ঝড়  উঠত আর এখন অনুগল্প  হয়ত পড়ার  সময় হয়  নইলে  একটা দুটো কবিতা। হঠাৎ করে কেন জানি মনে হচ্ছে বাংলায় গল্পকারদের সংখ্যা আর মান দুটি কমে গেছে। যা দুএকটা লেখা হচ্ছে তার মধ্যে commercialism এর গন্ধ বেশ উগ্র, সাহসী গভীর সমাজ কেন্দ্রিক লেখার সংখ্যা প্রায় চোখেই পড়েনা পড়লেও তাতে সাহসীকতার চেয়ে সাবধানতাই বেশি চোখে পড়ে । 

সাবধান হয়ে লেখা যায়  কিন্তু সাহিত্য সৃষ্টির জন্য লাগে চিন্তার সাহস লাগামছাড়া  ভাবার ক্ষমতা, সবকিছুকে মন থেকে উপলব্ধি করার ক্ষমতা, যে লিখছে সে যদি নিজের সমস্ত সত্তাকে উগরে দেই নিজের লেখাতে মনে অনুভব করে প্রতিটি চরিত্রকে ঠিক তখনই কথায় যেন পাঠক আর লেখকের মন জুড়ে যায়; পাঠক প্রতিটি শব্দের সাথে একই ভাবে লেখার মুহূর্ত গুলোকে অনুভব করে তখনই সবার অলক্ষে  তৈরী হয়  সাহিত্য যা মনে দাগ কেটে যায়  চিরকালের জন্য ।


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Saturday, July 14, 2012

dreams!


I dream of living a life..
having a dream in night
failures ..successes 
love cruelty..insanity 
all of those feelings.
I dream...of...... 



I loses a tear in every dream
sad, happy, afraid all of those
complicated things
haunts me when I awake
But still in a dream!!!



Still  everyday 
with open eyes..
with  clear mind
I built a life..
then I fall asleep
wake up in a bizarre reality!!



I have a life in a dream!!
reality takes over 
close my eyes
woke up
it's dark; its night; its real..
I will dream in morning
with all other strange
dream creatures like
me!!!! 



ভাবছি !!!!!

সবচেয়ে বেশি সমস্যা কোনটাতে? সহজ করে বলা না সহজ করে বোঝা ? কঠিন বিষয় সহজ করে দেখার মত কঠিন কাজ আর বোধহয়  কিছুই নেই !কিন্তু কেন জানিনা সবাই সহজ বিষয় গুলোকে কঠিন করে দেখতে চায়, কঠিন ভাষায় বলতে চায় যেন সহজের কোনো মূল্যই নেই. সহজ মানে বোকা, সহজ মানে হারিয়ে যাওয়া শৈশব, সহজ মানে খামখেয়ালী মনের পাগলামো, সহজ মানে সকাল বেলার লেবু চা, সহজ মানে এখন অবাস্তব.........

সহজ মানে অবুঝ জীবনের হাতছানি, এই কঠিন সমাজে কঠিন জীবনের portrait যেখানে আঁকা রয়েছে সেখানে সহজ মানে  অবাস্তব অনাকাঙ্খিত চিন্তা ......তাই তো সহজভাবে হাসতে চাওয়া পাগলামি , সহজ ভাবে বাঁচতে চাওয়া বোকামি সহজভাবে বলতে চাওয়া ধৃষ্টতা কোনো কিছুই সহজ নেই আজকাল.......এই কঠিন জীবনে সহজভাবে শুধু দুটো জিনিস পাওয়া যায় , না চাইতেই এই জীবন আর জীবনকে বোঝার মাঝে হুট করে চলে আসা মৃত্যু.....এই দুটো  fundamental জিনিস ছাড়া সবই বড় কঠিন.......

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Freedom!!!!

       Freedom the best word of them all, everything we need we desire we think we love all is worthless without sweet sweet freedom. Freedom of mind freedom of thinking freedom of believing is essential to live as a human being. All happiness feels like a delusion an empty space without freedom of soul.

      But the thing is are we really free???? Let me rephrase it 'am I really free?' that's a very complicated question...cause it  is feeling if you feel inside of you inside of your very existence that you are free then its real ...but do I feel that inside me???? It is one of the main questions of my life. I am a grown up (which just I believe not my parents apparently) I believe freely without any pressure, I don't believe in miracles but turning a Caterpillar in a beautiful butterfly feels like magic, I don't believe that there is a god who is conducting every bad or good things in my life without my concern, but when I face a choice between right or wrong I feel an unknown pressure surrounding me.....is that feeling is god? are we part of our own god?? cause we all know somewhere deep whats right & whats wrong. So I am free to believe or free to choose, so may be I am free.

      'May be' is not my favorite word choice, one day I was very happy with a reason of course; but wanted to sing without any reason wanted to smile but couldn't do that, because I was walking on the street, so my conscious  mind did not allow me to do those silly little things I acted like a grown up civilized person but not like a free person, so my subconscious mind was screaming "want freedom....I want to be free" I realized that I did a very bad thing I had enslaved my mind with all rules and training of my whole life. My soul is a slave inside my flesh & blood body. I betrayed my own existence I tamed it, somewhere along the way I did lose my wild free mind, am I happy? yes I am, am I living a respected life? yes I am living...now am I really free??

       Free is when we are not afraid of anything....but we are afraid...aren't we? we are afraid of the dark, we are afraid of the unknown, we are afraid of government rich people cruel people gangs terrorist insects every thing is scary so living is scary....so how can freedom exist in those afraid minds? it can't, sometime I am free to think but can't speak of my mind cause I am afraid of the consequences, sometime I just can't think freely cause I am afraid of myself. so I am a slave of my fear, what is that fear? that's the question everyone is scared of ....which is funny. We feel weak cause we fear power but fear is the factor who gave the birth of power and created difficulties for freedom. Sometimes we just don't have freedom of speech freedom of expression. I am so afraid of every part I do how everyone going to react but in that process I am loosing my only friend only aim my sweet 'freedom'.......

      what is freedom actually??? I want to know in real....and how can I be free????? I want my sweet sweet freedom 





Friday, July 6, 2012

Am I a Thinker or just crazy!!

Millions of thoughts dancing in my mind all day long!!!! what? is that makes me a crazy person?? may be may be not....may be it just makes me a normal person who thinks. That's the main problem thinking...it is a gift & also a curse. Some lucky people live all of their life without thinking and just by flow with the blow....no harm there!!! or there is a harm? 
As I can feel more thinking comes with much more problem...why is that? whats the cause behind that? why what when how all of this just because I think. But thinking is fun.....which start with a question ends with an answer a new answer....scope to learn something new...to understand something new.


that's the main problem with me I think a lot...& always ask questions all day long...to everyone...some of them to just know the unknown some of them just for protesting or for the sake of arguing. But think think & think all day long about everything. whats funny you know? eating extra food can harm a person but thinking extra just helps the mind to grow.....but what it effects in social life? sometime I just don't feel a little bit of interested in day to day normal stuffs so my friends and family thinks that I am forgetful. that really sucks sometimes......but if someone offer me millions of cash all pleasure of the world in exchange of my thinking ability...what will be my answer?


of course back of!!!! I am happy with my lots of questions forgetfulness and crazy mind...I just love thinking.If that makes me crazy that's just cool....