If I had a time machine!

If I had a time machine!

What if I have a time machine! It will be truly awesome. Many people dream of this, what I have done if I can travel in time? not only wherever I want but wherever whenever I want. It’s really a dream of a dream. Life is full of passed moments, mistakes; good moments that we wished to stand still, and a future ahead full of unknown possibilities. Just one forget about all the science stuff, the complexities and paradox scenarios, or possibility or impossibility of the time travel. Lets just dream, an impossible crazy dream to be the ultimate traveler, witnessing whenever the greatest moment of our own life or the greatest and important moments of the world’s history. The mistakes that we once made we can change it, or just can try to change the past in a larger scale, change or wipe out a horrific event from history, or just observe silently and be the witness of the history without changing anything.

I personally want to see the dinosaurs, in real life moving living their day to day life and steal a dino egg and have a dino pet of my own. It could be fun as long as choose an herbivorous. I also want to see ancient Egypt all the real life pharos drama and stories upfront, want to visit Harappan towns and learn the script of that time and come back to this time and be the one who deciphered the Harappan script, it can be totally magnificent. I can go to my future and see what I have done then come back and repair it anything is possible with a time machine hidden in my basement only for me.

I know it’s all so crazy and absurd and complicated but still there is no tax for dreaming even the absurd crazy ones. We have a mind and that is more powerful than any machine we ever created. We cannot travel in time but we can visualize we can think even can see through our writings, paintings, stories novels, movies many many things. Time is running, always running with amazing speed and taking away our memories our moments our mistakes and successes all of it, like a mountain spring washing away all the dirt in its path and carving the unsuspecting stones for the future.

Timing is everything, to succeed to fail, to fall in love, grow out of love, being happy, being sad, then with time forget the sadness, all in right time. Time controls us, we can just flow with it, leaving a part of us behind, lost in time. We don’t have time machine, maybe we should not have. We learn from our past, then we carve our future, if the past became our future then we will be lost truly. Every day every month every year we evolve because time changes us. We stand a year away from our old self and we can see the difference in us, even when I read my diary 6 month later I can see me changing through that little time. Feels different, the pains once felt so much, the happiness ones touched my heart feels like a dream.

If I had a time machine! I can do everything but I may just lock it in the basement hidden from everyone even from myself, maybe I can feel fear or feel confused by so many choices. I had my past, full of mistakes, great moments, success, full of happiness and sadness, now I stand here 31^st December of the year of 2013, the new year awaits me awaits all of us, its our future, the me in the 2012 was a different version of me, with less experience less everything, a year later me is waiting for me to meet her there. I did travel through time, I met me in the past and I am going towards me at the future. But it’s a slow mode, but still like every crazy dream the root is always near our heart. Tomorrow it will be a new year and a new journey through time, my time. 

Selflessly Selfish or Selfishly Selfless!!!

Selflessly Selfish or Selfishly Selfless!!!

What one should be like, selflessly selfish or selfishly selfless!!! It sure sounds like a tongue twister but it is the story of life. No one consciously most of the time want to be a selfish person, just can’t act like a selfless one, some people are selfless no matter what but they are quite conscious about that because being selfless makes them happy they feel satisfaction by a selfless act, which is at the end is very much selfish, but results a good deed, no one can argue that. I am in my cryptic voice saying that no one can be selfless without being naturally selfish. Even in constant need of acquiring a place in heaven religious person acts selflessly, they want a better place after death so they try to act selflessly, so what that makes them?? Little delusional but still selfish, which is natural. A person thinking about people and helping them because that makes them happy and good in the heart so their happiness depends on a selfless act. It is quite complicated isn’t it??

But a selfless act always ends in a good deed, someone helping another without wanting any material stuff in return is very pleasing and assuring that good still exists in this earth, and by a good deed we can start a chain reaction of good in society. But when a selfless act is happens so much consciously that the person acting selflessly actually fueling their own ego and vanity by it, that is very disturbing in a way, what if for some people acting selfless is a way to stay in the limelight and be the center of attraction then what?? In that event the person just stepping toward their own permanent despair and sorrow, when an act being carried out to pump ones ego it cannot be totally satisfying  which can create a feeling of depression and sadness inside that can make someone so negative that they just forgets the pure happiness of being selfless at the first place.

Believing in the fact that we all are naturally selfish but still we can act selfishly selfless can also help us to control our own ego. Knowing the limits of our goodness and the faults that we have, keeps us in the check and we just need to feel good nothing more than that by a single act of kindness. I want to feel happy by helping someone in need and by that I am hoping in near future when I will be in a sticky position someone will help me, and by hoping that I should know that I am selfish by nature and that is my limit, so my ego can never grow and be out of control. I know some people personally who like to brag their good deeds and how great and kind they are that they help everyone around them selflessly, sometime by harming their own interest in the process, but wants the same thing from other people, the expectation is so great that they often get awfully disappointed and unhappy and frustrated. By doing something for someone they need exactly that type of sacrifices from that person is not healthy for either of them. Help from a needy person like that can be feel like a huge burden and by helping with that much expectation can be very disturbing and mentally dis-satisfactory.

No human being is completely good or bad, act selfish or preserving our own priorities are our basic nature or better to say our basic instinct, but with our those basic limits still we developed some philosophy and belief system that we can act selflessly and feel happiness by doing so. It is satisfactory to be kind and helping to others, which can make us happy, but imposing that which we are not can make the situation far worse than it is already. No one should make them do something just to be popular and well-known, when a person themselves believe that they are saint like or the most good and kind hearted person in the world and people should feel gratitude towards them all the time, that is the time that person needs therapy. Expectation can make someone depressed and mentally sad, and frustrated; the people try to act nice just to get attention is more danger to themselves than others. Considering the fact that we are not perfect and little selfish can help us to be selfless in a nicer and wiser way.

Blame It On The Ghost!!!!

Blame It On The Ghost!!!!

Don’t have any answer blame the ghost!!!! Why not they are not coming to confront you or anything, are they?? It is funny really, still some people when fails to explain something they blame it on a ghost or anything supernatural without any logic. Once me and my friend was hanging out in my flat watching a movie on my laptop and having coffee, it was quite normal evening then suddenly the rope which was for hanging clothes and stuff broke of and all clothes scattered on the floor, we were startled, and looked at the mess, I was pretty upset because I have to clear things up, but suddenly my friend said, “Shrutasree your place is haunted, it was definitely a ghost”, I was surprised at her remark, I lived there more or ness 7 months till then and nothing supernatural happened, and it is absurd to think that a ghost is going to waste it’s limited energy on messing my place with clothes, and the rope was little loose to begin with, but no logical explanation made her believe that there was nothing supernatural in my flat. After sometime one day I was visiting her and we were having tea and snacks she said to me, “I was wrong, your place is not haunted at all.” I was happy at first, at last she got hold on her logical part of the brain, and then she told me something that I felt alarmed, “your place is not haunted, but that was a job of a ghost, it happens around me, actually I am haunted.” She believed that a ghost like entity is following her since she was a child, and sometime it acts naughty, and mess things up. She lived in a girls’ hostel, and reported many disturbing incidents, doors are getting slammed, she can’t breathe properly in her sleep, and her roommate is feeling the same. Once she was talking on a phone and walked up to the roof unknowingly and something startled her, it was a huge rooftop; it was very late at night and no one else on the roof. She told me that she was in a trance and did not notice her going to the roof at all.

I thought her breathing problem was a part of sleep paralysis, it is quite common, it can be triggered by heavy stress and workload in life, she had those, and the roommate having the same experience can be logically explain by mass hysteria, listening an explanation again and again can make some people feeling that way. And her trance mode, she is still very absent minded person, doing one thing she just forget everything else around her, only the thing in hand is her whole world, so her trance mode is still very common and little disturbing in a way, and in night sky there is millions of things, night birds, bats anything could have startled her, but no blame it on the ghost.

  

The poor black cats are the saddest victim of superstition, there was an incident when I was in class five, I grew up in a home where my parents never indulged any superstition or illogical beliefs, so I did not knew about  the popular superstitious beliefs and I was more interested in my games and fun, one day I was coming home from school with some friends, we often took a lonely shortcut, and it was fun, no traffic or crowd, just some trees and field and we ran play and walk at the same time, it was very pleasant, so we were talking and laughing amongst ourselves and suddenly a little black kitty crossed our path, it was a little ball of fur, unfortunately the fur was pitch black, my friends freaked out so bad, they were really scared to go forward on that road and insisted upon going back and take the long way home, I was surprised, I liked the kitty, and it was so small to do any harm, if it was a big angry cat then our being scared could have been justified a little. But my friends were determined to go back, but my home was very near then and I was starving and looking forward to have food and sleep cozying up to my grandmother, so I stayed at the same road and tell them to go if they want to go. They left me, even though they thought it was dangerous and the black cat was actually a ghost still they left their friend and ran away. I walked alone; the kitty was sitting under a tree, looked sleepy rather than evil or viscous. After I reached home I found my grandmother waiting for me as usual, I eat and lay down beside her and told her the whole thing. She said to me, “you should not done that, you should have stay with your friends” I was little amazed and curious I asked her if the black cat was really a ghost! She answered, “I don’t know if the poor little cat was anything but a cat, but coming alone was a bad idea, the road was isolated and you are a little girl, you should be more careful, people can do more harm than a ghost or a cat, now remember that and never come home all alone by yourself” she was scared because I was little and coming home alone was not safe for a child. I thought my friend’s grandmothers were not so bright like my grandmother, I loved her very much she, and she never blamed anything on ghost.

But through my teenage years I was desperate to see a ghost or something supernatural, because my friends often tell me stories of their encounters with unknown entity ghost or haunting, they were very serious in describing them, and I felt left out, like ghost did not liked me or something, even my best friend told me once a ghost scratched her hand while she was sleeping. I often scratched my cheek or nose with my nails in sleep but that was it. So I tried to read books about supernatural, tried plan Chet, but my father told me once, it is not wise to look for disturbing things, even for fictional disturbing things it can cloud the mind with useless thoughts and can disrupt logic and common sense. And it was it I got older and busy in everyday life, studies and work I stop looking for ghost to blame on. But I still hear stories of people’s encounter with supernatural, and most of the time they are lying and if not so they need psychiatric help.

I still remember my grandmother’s warning, people can harm more than a ghost or a black cat. It’s true, everyday reading the newspapers I can see her point. The world is haunted but not by ghost or any supernatural beings, it is haunted by humans, we haunt ourselves, and we die, suffer and lost everything by our own hand. Still some people like to blame it on ghosts that is may be easy to see us in a logical perspective. Believing in supernatural is a coping mechanism, but being logical and reasonable is wise. Keeping an open mind is better; I will be happy or excited or even may be scared if I see a ghost, it will mean there is a mystery and something more is hidden. But blaming little messes on a poor black cat or a ghost is not fair, is it??